fucknits

Thanks to a tip off from this great blog, I heard about the amazing sale they’re having in Liverpool John Lewis before they move to new premises. I scored £54.80 worth of yarn for £11.30. I know this because I created an Excel spreadsheet and worked out average RRP against what I paid*…

More technological genius to follow, hopefully…

A couple of the yarns in there I bought while I was in Kendal at the weekend. This weekend we actually had weather in England, for the first time in over a year I think. I acted accordingly:

The internet/my computer/my brain is playing up something woeful tonight, but I have a lot to blog about. I have a pattern in the works, and some kick-ass FOs to show off. But for now I’ll just tell you about the most exciting thing that’s happened to me in beards… I foiled an attempted break in.

I was taking a sicky from work (what?) and was awoken at 12.30 (what???) by young lads knocking on the door and shouting through the letter box. I thought it was a bit suspect, so I dragged my lazy arse out of bed.

Half an hour later, just as I’m digesting my first coffee of the day, they come back. But this time they don’t knock, they just try and open the door. Cos, yeah, being a stupid dickhead I’d left my keys (including my car keys) in the lock from the night before. In my defence, I had walked all the way from the train station in the blazing heat carrying tins of beer.

So anyway, I race to the door and let out a full-on scouse “EY!” and by the time I’d got the door open I could only see the backs of the three little twats in their black hoodies legging it down the street. And just to confirm my suspicions that they weren’t being helpful and returning my keys to me, they left in such a haste they forgot their getaway vehicle. One of these:

A scooter, nay, a tricycle. They really do start them young around here.

Anyway, I toyed with the idea of either loosening the wheelnuts and leaving it for them to retrieve, or riding it around the streets and seeking the bastards down, vigilante-style. But to my surprise, the police actually showed up, and offered to take it away. Even stranger, they didn’t seem to be in a car so I have my suspicions they rode it back to the station. Gutted. Didn’t even give me time to take pictures of it with me doing crime-fighter poses, honest.

*which then died on me, like every other shitty piece of technology I come into contact with today.